While you’re finding true love, you might pretend to like camping or other outdoor activities to match your date’s interests, though you’d rather “Netflix and chill.”

A young woman with long dark brown hair on the path to finding true love through conscious dating wearing a crown made of pink roses; she is embracing herself in nature.

Or while mirroring your potential partner to build attraction, you look calm, cool, and collected, but deep down, you’d prefer to let loose.

Faking it takes energy and effort. You can feel guilty for living a lie. If you drop the mask by mistake, the date you dig might eventually uncover the truth. After another broken connection, you can return to scrolling profiles, hoping for another match or, in frustration, stop searching altogether.

I’ve learned that being authentic weeds out the wrong matches. And it helps us look beyond words and appearances and focus instead on people’s actions.

Part of this philosophy stems from my experiences falling for narcissistic men. At first, narcissists and other “dark triad” types hide their true selves; they seem nice, yet they lie and manipulate behind the scenes. After you get to know them, their masks tend to drop and their actions show who they are.

When we act against our values or beliefs, it seems deceptive and builds mistrust and resentment. When you’re secure in showing who you are and in expressing your desires (without playing games), you filter mismatches — including those with personality disorders — and save everyone’s time. It’s a more honest approach.

Join Us in Finding True Love Through Conscious Dating

I created this blog to help people age 30 and up with limited romantic experience or who don’t practice conscious dating join the path to finding true love through self-acceptance.

I don’t pretend to have all the answers. And I might fail. But I hope that through this experiment, we can support ourselves despite the challenges. I’m willing to prove the effectiveness of these beliefs. I invite you to subscribe to my blog to track my progress through taking a test to see if you’re an authentic dater.

Because one day, you might meet that special someone.

Through learning how to feel confident being yourself, you could end up finding true love and live a happier, more fulfilling life aligned with your values, purpose, and goals — without wearing a mask.

Are you ready to join the journey to love?

Take the Free Test

Discover if You’re an Authentic Dater

Michelle Troutman
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